I have returned to work - part-time, this month, and find that I have little attention for writing. My thoughts are occupied with the past and my family of origin. I still make that journey home at least twice a month. It is a world filled with expectations and ideas that did not need my needs and thus, I have not fulfilled. In my contentment I travel to a place that challenges the essence of who I say I am.
This family values worldly accomplishments over inner peace. Money over values. Possessions rather than love. However, the siblings who earn the big money, are featured in Money Magazine and headed to Oslo for new jobs are not the ones who show up when crisis calls or there is work to be done. It is not their absence that affronts me, but the admiration for their public assent that astonishes. Since this is not new revelation, I merely acknowledge what are now very old feelings and find my place in that moment.
I sat at the window and listened to the breeze move though the trees. I counted six varying bird calls. I smelled honey in the air. My coffee fresh and hot accompanies my novel and I follow the detective into the Moors. My only happy childhood memories are of spring with its sights and sounds. The house felt empty and quiet and at peace.
Acknowledgements of a Spiritual Shift
- I allow life to carry me, rather than trying to make things happen.
- I smile easily.
- I feel connected to everything and everyone, without exception.
- I live in gratitude.
- I think in the present moment and act from Now rather than from my patterns of hurt and distress.
- Worry is absent. Guilt dissolved.
- Conflict has lost its attraction.
- I release myself from my opinions about what others have done. It is none of my business what they think of me.
- I judge myself and others less.
- I forgive us all.
- I love as an act of giving.
- I say what I mean. I mean what I say. I do what I say I am going to do.