Let it go!

July has been fraught with miserable moments. I took a new position that I knew was horrible going in. No matter how much I gave, the situation continued to deteriorate. The system which employed me is invested in the bottom line and therefore willing to sacrifice the safety and well-being of its employees. That's what happens to the wage slaves. There are more waiting in the wings.

I always intended to quit. I agreed to go because I thought I could help until things shifted, and then move on. Now, one month into the process, I exit on a sour note.

"Always leaving them wanting more." That was my motto. Not this time. My distress and angst over this situation left me vulnerable to misinterpretation and attack. Well, there you go. Or rather there I go.


So, I now have that which I most deeply desired - freedom from that job position. Yes, I was planning to leave the agency as well. Got that too. It's the sickening feeling when you don't get to walk out on your own terms. Perhaps I should have imagined the how along with the what. Me, my deepest desire was to be at home. Here I am!

Uncomfortable situations help us know that it is time -

• To take a nap
• To disengage
• To stop calling
• To accept that our effort is not helping
• To let go

We are not giving up or desires or our passions when we walk away from situations or circumstances that no longer serve us. We are opening to new possibilities.

I haven't signed that form that says I quit my job, yet. But I am where I choose to be today.

Before I knew how bad it was going to get today, I was listening to this video. When I heard the accusations, I was thankful for the understanding - All that I draw to myself is for my highest growth and evolution. (This is not from the video, but on the same tone.)

Still on the path.

Step one.

Beautiful, Useful, or Loved

The idea to post began with the motion that I live outside of most boxes. True, if one were inclined, I could be trapped by my physical attributes, but they do not define who I am or how I live.

My days are occupied with the care of a twenty month old live wire. Too many days she skips her nap and may lie down for less than an hour. I am busy.

In the who am I realm, I answer that I am GG, tending my babies seven days a week, when I am not at work. I read, crochet, chant, garden, cook, and sort of clean.

I am a writer who does not write. I have exhausted my stories. Or perhaps I have tired of them. Or better yet, they have reached their emotional conclusions.

Days filled with laughter and snot - allergies - are more than enough. Even my current job has lost its thrill. I relax into the opportunities of this Gemini New Moon. This is the perfect time to set new intentions and allow them to flourish in the growing lunar light.

Yesterday, I was reminded that while control is an illusion, I can assess the affect of the decisions I make.

Does it bring me joy?
Is my life increased, expanded, enhanced? Or, am I contracted?
Is this (item) beautiful, useful, or loved?
Have I assigned non-existent value to this item or relationship?

In the dark of the moon, we reassess our priorities, releasing what no longer serves us. We can choose to be open and receptive to the playful nature of each moment and relish in joy.

Bright blessings as we traverse the dark.

Heads up... Mercury Retrograde June 7th.

My gentle space amidst the noise.

Shopping Savvy!

This has been a busy year. Since everyone has a weather related story, I will skip that and merely share that I have a whole bunch too.

However, this year I am working at a job I love. I got a promotion, which I used to buy more yarn and whiskey. Last week I bought Ezra Brooks - Kentucky Bourbon Whiskey. Light, smooth and delicious. I hope even my non-whiskey drinking friends will enjoy a taste.

Today's deal comes from iHerb. They have free shipping for $20 or more. I have been a long time customer, off and on. There are other sites I love as well, but free shipping is a hook for me. I keep a list of the things I need to replace when the funds arrive, then watch for bargains. While Lucky Vitamin has great prices as well, $5.95 shipping (though a flat fee) means a real price adjustment. In fact, I have been buying my chia seeds at the grocery for a dollar more per pound - no shipping.

That's my total cost today. It pays to shop around.

Here's a link to save up to $10 more if you are a first time customer - http://www.iherb.com?rcode=COL591

That's a 3D butterfly I made for fun. Wrist warmers last night and a thread scarf I need to get at. I have decided that I will make my friend wrist warmers for her birthday.

One more bit...remember to check your receipts. I shopped at a big box store. In a hurry, I raced out and home. When I checked my receipt, I had paid more that the posted amounts on 7/10 items. I returned to the store for a $6.01 difference. What happens to people who buy dozens of items?

Time to winter sow...

Happy!

Cause I'm happy!

You, be happy!

Namaste`

Thank G!d for yarn and whiskey!

Sitting in the full moon light, I wander back through the last two weeks. In the new moon we draw our intentions. The full moon symbolizes the attainment of desires. This has been a rough row to hoe.

It seems one thing after another has drawn my attention from the promises I make to myself. The frigid weather caused the water pipes to freeze. Then they burst. I wake at 3:30 in the morning and fish the filling from my back molar out. I'm rolling down the street on a short errand and my car conks out. I get it towed to the dealer. It starts right up. They check it the next day, same thing.

No worries. No point. I got yarn, new patterns, and a new bottle of whiskey - two in fact.

I patched the hole that was spewing water, turned it on, filled the washer, then noticed the pressure was low. I turned off the faucets and could hear unseen water spraying. Oh goody! Start over.

New year. New Beginnings. Start over. Start over. Start over. Just like crochet. Sometimes I get into a pattern and find it just isn't what I expected. I unravel and begin again. By now, I am quite comfortable with the do-over. Sitting with a nip on the side helps too.

Sidebar:

I remember this blog. Carry it in my heart. Post less.I spend more time with yarn and grands these days. Still working part-time, of course, drinking, and even made a journey to San Francisco and up north to my family of origin. I'll keep thinking. Hope you will keep reading.

I write here, also - Bubblews.com - Dragonflies1113

Leave a comment, I'll get back to you.