July has been fraught with miserable moments. I took a new position that I knew was horrible going in. No matter how much I gave, the situation continued to deteriorate. The system which employed me is invested in the bottom line and therefore willing to sacrifice the safety and well-being of its employees. That's what happens to the wage slaves. There are more waiting in the wings.
I always intended to quit. I agreed to go because I thought I could help until things shifted, and then move on. Now, one month into the process, I exit on a sour note.
"Always leaving them wanting more." That was my motto. Not this time. My distress and angst over this situation left me vulnerable to misinterpretation and attack. Well, there you go. Or rather there I go.
So, I now have that which I most deeply desired - freedom from that job position. Yes, I was planning to leave the agency as well. Got that too. It's the sickening feeling when you don't get to walk out on your own terms. Perhaps I should have imagined the how along with the what. Me, my deepest desire was to be at home. Here I am!
Uncomfortable situations help us know that it is time -
- To take a nap
- To disengage
- To stop calling
- To accept that our effort is not helping
- To let go
I haven't signed that form that says I quit my job, yet. But I am where I choose to be today.
Before I knew how bad it was going to get today, I was listening to this video. When I heard the accusations, I was thankful for the understanding - All that I draw to myself is for my highest growth and evolution. (This is not from the video, but on the same tone.)