Oh the things you will find...

...after you replace them, or
...while digging through closets...

I was searching for school supplies before we went out to shop. The only items I had on the list were yellow #2 pencils. But I found two containers of butter. I knew I had some, but since I couldn't find it, I bought more. What we have up there is avocado butter (about a third cup left), shea butter (easily more than a cup), cocoa butter, beeswax, and a small bottle of Crown Royal - saved for a special occasion. I'm not a fan, but it works well for a tincture or toddy.

Then I found...

This collection of herbs and resins. I looked all over for myrrh. Not pictured, but also discovered was a collection of meditation oils that include frankincense, myrrh, and sandalwood.  There are bags of lavender flowers, tobacco, cedar, sage, and catnip. And copal. I fired up the charcoal and breathed in the thick sweet fragrance from another world.

I tore open the package of lavender flowers and they smelled fresh picked. I think we had better quality in the old days. Certainly better prices.

There were boxes filled with glass bottles and jars. Some new; others recycled. Bottles with stoppers and bulb syringes. Half ounce to eight ounce. I used to make and market aromatherapy oils, balms, and sprays. And I love pretty glass:

Above is algae powder which I am going to add to tonight's bath, more lavender flowers and painted glass bottles with glass stoppers (perfume bottles).  It looks like time for another Craigslist post. Or maybe eBay. Either way, I'm ready to let these go.

We bought the remainder of DA's school supplies for less than $10 and I will donate the other items on the 15th (to higher grades). I still have a ton of items to give away. It was fun remembering my life and times past. That's why we save stuff - to trigger memories. Pictures, music, ticket stubs, jewelry or bottles. It is easier to let go of items that are free of sentiment, so start there.

Here's to creating space, and loving it!

Namaste

 

What's With This Stuff!

Last week when I stopped to visit my daughter she pushed me back out the open door exclaiming that she was not interested in hearing my judgement about her space. It's a mess. Regularly. I said I wouldn't say anything but that was a lie. "Good effing grief!" That's not a judgment. That's an assessment.

This morning I was back at her space and offered that it is difficult to keep coming home to piles of stuff everywhere. She shares episodes from that show where they capitalize on the distress of people who hoard. I hold that if I visit my friends/families/neighbors home and it looks a mess, it is imperative that I offer to support them in cleaning it up.

How dare I stand/sit/wander around though someone's filth (distress) and do nothing. It is as simple and easy as picking up the stuff at your feet and putting it away (or in the trash).  Between my daughter and I, we folded all the laundry, sorted it into piles and put some of it away.

We become overwhelmed when there is so much to do. Having support (company or help) can ease the emotional burden. As I got into the car, she shouted down over the rail, "Hoarding is genetic."

I know. I know. It is a constant effort to release and let go of what no longer serves us. My mother. Me. My children. I am looking into the mirror no matter where I visit. None of us need judgment. We all need compassion.

Every End a Beginning

My mother died the afternoon of 03.02. I took my father to see her that morning. It is increasingly difficult for him to get around. This process has exacted a heavy toll on him physically and emotionally. It was nice to see the hospice staff today. I thought I might miss them and knew it would be the last time. Today's visit would include the bath I had put off yesterday. As the nurse sang, my father prayed. I had the feeling of it being the final act, as in preparation. My mother was more vocal during the visit. For days she has been non-responsive unless being suctioned. The nurse felt she knew he was there. Maybe... I decided to go with it and tell her good-bye.

To his dismay, my father had to be wheeled from the hospital room and to the front doors. Exhausted, he agreed to rest and allow me to complete the monthly shopping. Having found each item on his list, I returned, put the groceries away, and started dinner. I had planned to drive home and return in the morning. Instead, the phone rang. From the area code I knew my mother had passed.

There are few to call who can come and relaxedly be here. I am thankful there was one. We gathered in the house to occupy the first four hours. Then we all parted to attend our tasks. This collecting and yes, hoarding of stuff is my mother's idea. My dad began immediately offering me things to carry away. As freaked as I feel about taking a bunch of stuff home, I feel worse knowing he has a big trash bag just pitching things in. I have these same patterns.

Oh, the waste. This is another place for me to let go. I have now spend the last four hours digging through a container or stuff to reach the bottom and find unopened expired items. Lots and lots of what was really good stuff just gone to waste. I have sorted things to keep and share, stuff to sell or give away (donate), trash, trash, trash, and recycling.

Along the path today, I realized that sometimes Love and Compassion are the buffer between my bitch mature and someone else's donkey behavior. While I was comforting my father, I did not have attention to execute what would have been a deep jab in the eye of my controlling self-righteous sister. When the missed opportunity was pointed out to me I shrieked. It would have been the coup de grâce.  Pun intended. 


I am distracted by the inability to leave italics, so, I'm off to sleep as tomorrow is already here and I am traveling in just four hours. What was I thinking?

I knew a man who once said, "death smiles at us all; all a man can do is smile back."  ~From the movie Gladiator 

Rethinking Minimalism

Without too much attachment...

I just finished an email to my neighbor. I have stuff. She has way more than I. She even has a butler building to store the extra. The reason I bring it up is I have been saving mason jars I received but have emptied.  I need three lids. Sure, I could go buy them, but I just bet she has some I can have. That’s the thing with those of us who keep stuff; if you need something, we either have it or know someone who does. 

I came to the idea of minimalism in my search for living with less. That search was fueled by my desire to quit my job and stay at home. I knew the basics of saving money, paying off debt, and preserving what I have. What I needed was support for living without an income, at least for a while. I also sought to find a community of people who held values outside of mainstream consumerism.  

I had a wonderful journey through fabulous and interesting blogs. What I didn’t find was much variation in people. Most were young, single, and free. And while they were excited to be quitting their jobs, traveling the world, starting some new adventure, I expect that young people do just that. I am sad that any young person would believe the goal is to go to school, graduate and land a position as a cog in the machinery, no matter what the benefit package.  (There were also families working to manage on single incomes and those on religious paths.)

I was looking for people over fifty who were rethinking their goals and life choices, especially those who are working class, self educated, independent thinkers. This is a different breed from those with resources and assets. After reading hundreds, literally, of blogs, I concluded that while they may be out there, perhaps they don’t blog. I did find two blogs I follow that fit that category which brings me reassess minimalism.

Yesterday was my shopping venture. I have committed to shopping locally so made the rounds to three grocers in my community. Because I believe in supporting those in my life, I buy what’s on sale just in case someone needs it. When I completed my journey, I have enough to feed a small army – and they will come. This is my blessing – that I can keep the storehouse full.

I have another friend who thought we could come up with another word that explains our process. We both embrace the need and process of eliminating clutter from our space. Regularly, we address knickknacks and sit-abouts gifted. But what of us who love our books? The library is fine for popular fiction, but not classical literature. And did you know that if your credit card expires you will lose all the books, etc downloaded to your Kindle? Have we forgotten the joy in turning the page? I spend hours a day reading online, but I go to bed with a book.

Remember picture frames? Not digital, but the kind that sit on desk or hang on the walls. It is nice that we can so easily share memories electronically, but when there is no power or the storage system fails have we attended the image long enough to even give an accurate description? 

I love a long email from my friends. I cherish a handwritten letter. Letters, books, photos, jewelry, scarves, CDs, video tapes, plants, animals, clocks, scrap paper are all slipping away. Everything is being converted into digital formats to save what? 

My goal is to live without attachment, even to the source of my happiness. My home represents the life that I love. I gather the things that support and increase my joy. The rest is clutter. That’s what I let go. Today, I also let go of the idea of being, in anyway, a minimalist. I am all about love and pleasure, being present and sharing, opening and representing Divine Love – to the maximum.

Stuff

The process of change

In the past six months I have been taking a hard look at the amount of stuff I have in my space. I have recycled, reduced and reused much of what I have and still it is way too much. I had the garage sale, gave away bags, piles, and stacks. I posted some things on line and one even sold. Still, there is way too much. Finally, I will have to just donate the final bits and be done. There is no profit from hoarding just any old thing. I have too much.

On the other hand, I have a lot, more than enough. So much so, if you came to visit me and had a need, I could easily, willingly and openly offer to share with you. This is how I have always seen my life – that I would be a storehouse of information and necessities. Today, I do not believe I can offer that kind of generosity if I am focused on having only the minimum. Giving you my last shirt leaves me naked and seeking clothes.

Today the sales come out and will last through next Tuesday. There are several items which I don’t actually need myself, but are a fabulous buy at the sale price and I have a great coupon, making an even better deal. So between now and then I will head out to purchase those items. We are called to feed the hungry and clothe the naked. I plan to have the means to do so. 

I am a great shopper. That’s how I ended up with so much. I didn’t buy most of it, but learning to find a deal has served me well in the past. I am just in from the grocer to have found my coffee price increased sixty cents. In the past I would have bought four cans each month. I have a thing about running out. I also have a thing about paying way more money than I prefer. However, in this last hundred days I have been paring down, delaying shopping, using what I have. That style of shopping is likely to cost me in the long run. One might think that things even out in the end, but sometimes they don’t. If prices keep going up, I would prefer to have enough to last until I find a really good sale or a new supply. Not only coffee, but any items I am attached to having.

We’ve got to think things through for ourselves. We have to really decide if we are interested in living with less because we want to, believe we have to, or because we find it serves our lives to do so. What do I want to be when I grow up? I want to be happy. I plan to be happy. Being happy for me includes having my favoritist things around. I like lots of teas, espresso coffee, half and half, raw sugar, wine, chocolate, scotch, books, paper, pens, yarn, fabric, fuzzy blankets, my computer, smartphone, camera, earrings, and particular glasses from which to drink specific libations. 

I’m home now. Surrounded by my stuff. I feel welcome, relaxed, and at peace. When you come to visit, no matter how long your journey, we will kick a space clear for you and pour a cup of tea or glass of wine. You, too, may indulge in the abundance of my stuff. There is enough of everything for everyone – including you.