Haggard Moments

Generally, I am all about peaceful moments, especially in the morning. I move slowly. Drink my coffee and find a place to rest outside. I am surrounded by the lush greens and bright flowers. It is still wet and rainy even as the summer heats up. The depth of green protects the lilies that would have faded by now.

Then this morning comes. I'm going to take a moment to complain about the insanity of it all. Of course it all works out in the end, but we are not there yet. So, here is the report from along the journey...

I have this job...

And I have these commitments to being and showing up in loving, supportive ways for others...

And then, there's me.

I work forty hours on the weekend. The work's fine. Lots of ease. Little effort. There would be less effort if I didn't get pissed off about the things I cannot change. That's my personal challenge. As I type, I realize I have stepped away from my initial angst that had me writing my resignation - in a text message. (Yes, I would do that, and break up on a post it note.)  I have no reason to resign. It was just a feeling, and feelings change.

Well, how about that. Things have shifted. I feel better and now, I have tasks to do. There is still this job. I still have way more obligations than make sense, but I will untangle this ball of yarn and knit something better.

My new and good for this report - I learned to knit in May. Now I knit and crochet, daily. That's how I am keeping it together.

How about you?

And the Wisdom to Know the Difference

That's where we get stuck - we forget to ask for wisdom.

This week I reconnected with a roommate from thirty-seven years ago. We met, again, last week in the grocery store and spend almost an hour talking. It was fun and exciting to share life with someone on (what I thought) was a similar path. As I write this, perhaps we still are - the path of living at the fringe. In case you don't know, the farther you get from the median, the more diverse the thinking and living. We are, in fact, marginalized by choice.

After a few emails, we agreed to meet for tea at a local garden. I always prefer meeting in nature and near water. The conversation seems to flow more easily. Water is a good place for letting go as well. We talked. The tea discussion went well. Then she broke out the soapbox and began proselytizing. I listened politely. She stepped down. Kids. Family. Medical profession. SOAPBOX!!! I interjected.

Turns out she believes that her religious beliefs are the only true expression of God and that while others are sincere, they are wrong. Where have I heard that before? That busted open a big ole can of worms. She was not to be dissuaded. It was exactly like being with my family thirty-seven years ago. It was me. Thirty-seven years ago. I have changed. I see differently.

Lying in bed, unable to sleep, I began the Serenity Prayer. Reaching the last line, I realized I had gotten engaged in something I cannot change. She will shift in her time, but between us, if I choose to meet again, I do so knowing that I accept her just as she is.

Usually, religion and politics are off the table for me. Better to hold that line. Blessings, love, and gratitude are excellent topics of discussion. Check out my recent finds on food and other stuff, here.

Namaste