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Friday, November 11, 2011

Traveling, Writing, and Drinking Beer

The walk that waits for me.
I've arrived at a new beginning - the start of a whole new era. I've left my jobs before, for varying reasons, and in the past have said that I intended to travel. Those were usually short physical trips, though the internal journeys were far reaching and sometimes filled with angst and challenge. The first time, as I sat contemplating the decision, I met a women who advised that I would not find the answer until I walked through the door. Sitting staring would leave me blank. I've been walking through doors ever since.

I forget how incredibly long the trip from the midwest to the west coast can be. Flying is much faster than driving, but still all those hours on the road and in airports can wear away at one's enthusiasm. I am thankful for traveling graces and a safe and uneventful arrival. Z! collected me at SFO and we returned to the Tenderloin by BART. I do love riding the rail system.

I love the city - the lights, the sights, the sounds. I have been returning here every six months, walking these same streets and still I find something new each visit. Last night exiting the BART at Powell I noticed a mall. Really? A mall entrance from the BART station. How had I missed that before? Z! commented that she didn't think I was a mall person, and I'm not, but malls have chocolate cake and that was my arrival priority.

Let me say we passed on the dessert offerings and selected pretzels and snacks instead. Poor choice. I felt especially disappointed as convenience foods in the city are VERY expensive. The food bar was $9.99 per pound. That does limit what one might pile on one's plate. Thankfully, we already had dinner plans and continued our way home. Next stop, Pakwan's. This is our favorite Indian restaurant. We had our usual meal of saag paneer, garlic naan, and vegetable samosa. (Pictures are missing this visit. Next time.)

Because we were sated from the mall stop or exhausted from our day we packed up the leftovers and headed home. Beer waited there. Yay! New to me, but enjoyment for Z! was Stocktop Belgium Spice. I introduced her to the Raspberry Wheat. Both excellent choices which I highly recommend.

I was so ready to collapse into oblivion and had to convince Z! not to watch the scary movie she had cued to play. Thankfully she chose Kevin Hart who was incredibly funny as I drifted from exhaustion to sleep. And there I stayed until her alarm sounded at 0400.

I am further thankful to have lazed delightfully in the hazy morning embraced by a cool breeze hunkered under warm bedcovers. I haven't written about the girls (in my novel) since I left St. Louis. I will take a rest and open to their world that I might be a more accurate witness and share their stories more fully.

I've reached 100 days. There was great surprise even as I walked out the door. This biggest came as they proclaimed how very much I would be missed, that they loved me, and that I was great. This was news to me. Well, not the "missing me" part. I have shown up as the person I am. I gave what I had to offer fully and easily. My word was to be trusted and I was dependable, reliable, and responsible. While I want way more than that on my tombstone, I know those characteristics make a good and memorable employee.

The rest of the story is that I am opinionated and likely to share. I believe in radical honesty and while I didn't practice it consistently I had a low tolerance for any forms of bullshit (including placating, brown nosing, acquiescing, or accommodating). To me that meant my word could be trusted. To others, well, lets just say they preferred a smile even as your teeth were brown. Being polite doesn't have to turn one into a liar, but the lines were blurred entirely too often for me.

It was hard to figure out what to say. There were a few people I will continue to share parts of my life with and the rest I will just let go. I have several stories left to tell that I have waited for my departure to even write. For that I am excited.

Life is like dancing. If we have a big floor, many people will dance. Some will get angry when the rhythm changes. But life is changing all the time. ~Miguel Angel Ruiz

1 comment:

  1. I love ur honesty, Maria. And ur courage.

    I have blogged since ur note but it's in LJ. I love you. Always.


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