Altered Memories

My children have a habit of telling stories about me and the things I did to them that I swear are not true. More than that, I sometimes say that they are making things up. Then this morning, I remembered something I used to do to my children and thought, "How could any loving mother do that to her children?" And I am a loving mother. I always put the welfare of my children first. Yet, there it was, my memory of me doing something I would not want posted on Facebook.

It occurred to me how easily I recall my childhood and the ways I thought I had been mistreated. But when it comes to recalling my parenting, those memories are harder to access.  And because my children's memories do not match the image I have of myself I negate them.

Our memories are selective and reflective of our own subjective experiences. Much like the dozen witnesses who all see something different at the scene of an event, what we hold to be true is merely our perspective. Forgiveness is the key to freedom. 

I forgive ______ for not being what I needed them to be to me at that time. 

Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.

Still letting go...

Namaste

Oh the things you will find...

...after you replace them, or
...while digging through closets...

I was searching for school supplies before we went out to shop. The only items I had on the list were yellow #2 pencils. But I found two containers of butter. I knew I had some, but since I couldn't find it, I bought more. What we have up there is avocado butter (about a third cup left), shea butter (easily more than a cup), cocoa butter, beeswax, and a small bottle of Crown Royal - saved for a special occasion. I'm not a fan, but it works well for a tincture or toddy.

Then I found...

This collection of herbs and resins. I looked all over for myrrh. Not pictured, but also discovered was a collection of meditation oils that include frankincense, myrrh, and sandalwood.  There are bags of lavender flowers, tobacco, cedar, sage, and catnip. And copal. I fired up the charcoal and breathed in the thick sweet fragrance from another world.

I tore open the package of lavender flowers and they smelled fresh picked. I think we had better quality in the old days. Certainly better prices.

There were boxes filled with glass bottles and jars. Some new; others recycled. Bottles with stoppers and bulb syringes. Half ounce to eight ounce. I used to make and market aromatherapy oils, balms, and sprays. And I love pretty glass:

Above is algae powder which I am going to add to tonight's bath, more lavender flowers and painted glass bottles with glass stoppers (perfume bottles).  It looks like time for another Craigslist post. Or maybe eBay. Either way, I'm ready to let these go.

We bought the remainder of DA's school supplies for less than $10 and I will donate the other items on the 15th (to higher grades). I still have a ton of items to give away. It was fun remembering my life and times past. That's why we save stuff - to trigger memories. Pictures, music, ticket stubs, jewelry or bottles. It is easier to let go of items that are free of sentiment, so start there.

Here's to creating space, and loving it!

Namaste

 

And the Wisdom to Know the Difference

That's where we get stuck - we forget to ask for wisdom.

This week I reconnected with a roommate from thirty-seven years ago. We met, again, last week in the grocery store and spend almost an hour talking. It was fun and exciting to share life with someone on (what I thought) was a similar path. As I write this, perhaps we still are - the path of living at the fringe. In case you don't know, the farther you get from the median, the more diverse the thinking and living. We are, in fact, marginalized by choice.

After a few emails, we agreed to meet for tea at a local garden. I always prefer meeting in nature and near water. The conversation seems to flow more easily. Water is a good place for letting go as well. We talked. The tea discussion went well. Then she broke out the soapbox and began proselytizing. I listened politely. She stepped down. Kids. Family. Medical profession. SOAPBOX!!! I interjected.

Turns out she believes that her religious beliefs are the only true expression of God and that while others are sincere, they are wrong. Where have I heard that before? That busted open a big ole can of worms. She was not to be dissuaded. It was exactly like being with my family thirty-seven years ago. It was me. Thirty-seven years ago. I have changed. I see differently.

Lying in bed, unable to sleep, I began the Serenity Prayer. Reaching the last line, I realized I had gotten engaged in something I cannot change. She will shift in her time, but between us, if I choose to meet again, I do so knowing that I accept her just as she is.

Usually, religion and politics are off the table for me. Better to hold that line. Blessings, love, and gratitude are excellent topics of discussion. Check out my recent finds on food and other stuff, here.

Namaste

I cannot tell a lie...

I am too busy to think most days. The baby (JP) is ten months old and crawls away faster than most people walk. She has learned to reach and pull and drag each an every precious item I have protected for years crashing down to the floor. That means when the girls come to visit, I am on my J O B! It is a constant challenge to engage both girls at the same time, or to settle one and play with the other. As they are both independent spirits, corralling is unappreciated.

I usually work on Wednesday and only shop for bread and yogurt. I was called off on both my commitments so I had time to search for the best bargains. I love to shop. LOVE IT!!! No matter how much I talk about living with less, I love to shop. So, I will talk about living with less money, rather than less stuff.

I bought the above pictured groceries for $36.00. Yes, there was a sale. That's how you get the best deals - shop the sales. Green Giant - buy four and pay $.99. I bought six.  Chex mix was part of that deal too. Tofu was on sale for $1.49/pound. That is an unbeatable price. We bake it and add to rice, salad, soup, or sandwiches. Eggs and cheese are staples. Oatmeal, as well. DA says she will eat pretzels with applesauce. It is hiding behind the tofu.

The point is to make the most of every dollar. Sort out what works for your household and invest the time in finding the bargain. I am blessed to have charge of my grand-daughters four or five days a week. They both eat enthusiastically. Thankfully, they enjoy a wide variety of foods.

On another note, I am quite pleased with DrVita.com. Supplements and health foods inexpensive and free shipping and handling - with no minimum. I ordered Spectrum Chia Seeds and Chocolove (dark chocolate and ginger) both for $8.50. If you're paying retail for specialty supplies, you need a break. Here it is.

My last confessions are stuff. I have a scarf fetish. I have lots. I love them all. For a while, all I could think about was having more. Then I found an inexpensive way to both buy and share scarves with others - ebay! Affordable items, free shipping and the delay of waiting with the anticipation of arrival - a shopper's dream.

Finally, I found Battlestar Galactica Season 2.0 for $1.25 on Amazon. Wow!

Just so you know. I have watched BSG 2004 - 2009 three times. I re-read my books, some of them yearly. I watch reruns. I love the stories, the nuances, the lessons.

We (DA, JP, and I) mix a cup of Greek yogurt with an ounce of chia seeds and follow the Kratz Brothers into the wild or Commander Adama as he searches for earth.

I save where I can so I can splurge as I desire...

Where did you find your latest deal?

If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.

Tis a Gift to be Simple

I live up there. Tucked right in the middle. Surrounded by trees all around my home. It feels safe, warm, loving and comfortable.

Every Sunday, I wake, dress and enjoy a cup of coffee on the front porch, watching the birds at the feeder, listening to their chirps and songs. There are other sounds that draw my attention - the announcer from the high school ball field, early morning traffic, the occasional neighbor mowing or gardening. However, most people are not up early on Sunday mornings, so it's me and the birds.

Today I accept the blessings of a simple life.

I have every thing I need. (As a disclaimer, I am a pack rat. I work diligently to release stuff - reduce, reuse, and recycle; and avoid accumulation of additional "stuff.")

I have pared down my requirements. I now find that it doesn't actually serve for me to tell you how I live or what I choose because in reality, we each have to decide what our bare minimum is. I love to eat the exact same foods every day for weeks on end. I also love gourmet chocolate, and liquor.

I know what my distraction are - I can feel the pull of my attention to have, be or do more. When we are aware, we can actively decide what is healthiest for our lives. Does this really make sense (is it aligned with my goals) to engage in that activity or process?

I am comfortable with my discomfort. Whether I am delaying a purchase or walking an extra mile, I recognize that there are moments in life that feel like a challenge. I step up.

I have a vision for my life, my presence here - in this time. Some days I want things to be different. When I remember my mission statement, I open to my full potential of now.

Mission Statement?

A Mission Statement is a clear, concise statement of purpose. It is the reason for existence. It includes what actions will be taken to achieve the purpose. It is the predetermined statement of what you do, and why.

Long before I had heard the word minimalism and addressed the concept of simplicity, I wrote a Mission Statement:

"I am dedicated to supporting others on their journey to health and well-being, through education, information, and inspiration, radiating loving acceptance in each and every situation."

So I have the knowledge and supplies to support my Mission Statement. (Meaning, lots of stuff.) Just so you know, everything is not on the internet. Some information is still in books. OR, if is it available, you have to pay for it. Paying once is enough. And what is more satisfying than to pull a book from the shelf and find the reference you seek. Googling is not the same.

Tucked in the trees in the middle of the city is a womin reading and listening, growing and feeding the next generation of wimmin who will cherish the simplicity of the fruit of the earth. Children who will know that food comes from vines, bushes, or from deep in the soil.

My world is lush and abundant with life. Simplicity frees my attention to embrace and enjoy it all.

Namaste