The Untended Garden

Every year I assess my garden program, decide what is working and what needs to change. This process begins in the spring and continues through the dark of winter. I start early so changes can be made before I get overly invested in a process I can't continue.

This year I planted potatoes in their dedicated spot. I also included five gallon buckets of potatoes to insure a crop. I planted fewer tomatoes as I realized that I really don't care for them. I planted them for my children. None of my hot peppers survived the caterpillars, drought, or neglect. The green peppers were slow to grow, but when the temps became unbearable they bloomed and are set with fruit.

I planted an entire garden outside the back door on the deck thinking there would be no excuse for neglect. Each plant was tended with daily care. The result for all my work was pitiful. However, the sage and rosemary look nice, well, alive and growing.

This was my traditional gardening spot. This year I decided to try bag gardening again. That didn't happen, so I moved in five gallon buckets. Life got busy and I just let it go...

The squash and cucumber plants I tended so carefully were all destroyed by cut worms, at the base, inside the pots. There are butternut squash amongst the leaves and weeds maturing even now. And those are the first tomatoes harvested this season. Of course temperatures are expected to be in the 70s - not tomato growing weather.

Gardening is a huge exercise in letting go. Even with all my planning, I haven't been able to replicate a single year. Last year I was all about fresh produce ferments. We had so many peppers and zucchinis. The year before pumpkins and tomatoes. Prior years with millions of tomatoes convinced me they were not my favorites.

It's cool and rainy, after weeks of dryness. In the evenings, after the grandchildren have gone home or to sleep, I work a different process with varying degrees of success to show for my work.

Dark blue hat for the baby. Slippers with spa socks for my father. Yellow hat for DA, or me. Bows for DA, of course. I make hair bows in lots of colors then add beads and a clip.

Here's DA's new hat. Quite perfect, if I say so myself. Made of Caron Soft yarn. Her school colors are blue and yellow. You'll see lots of projects in those colors.

Scrunchies and hair bows. I found glow in the dark beads. I almost returned the beads, but finally got them to glow after exposure directly on the light bulb and them absolute darkness. I thought the sun would be easier. Did not work. Back to the light...

It's harder to post these days. JP runs from one moment of excitement to the next spectacular discovery. Cookie Monster is interesting from my lap, in front of the keyboard. Less so from the bouncy seat or her chair. During young one awake hours, my attention is fully occupied - chasing, moving, feeding, playing, and redirecting. "Clap. Clap. Clap your hands."

Make today a great day!

Namaste

Altered Memories

My children have a habit of telling stories about me and the things I did to them that I swear are not true. More than that, I sometimes say that they are making things up. Then this morning, I remembered something I used to do to my children and thought, "How could any loving mother do that to her children?" And I am a loving mother. I always put the welfare of my children first. Yet, there it was, my memory of me doing something I would not want posted on Facebook.

It occurred to me how easily I recall my childhood and the ways I thought I had been mistreated. But when it comes to recalling my parenting, those memories are harder to access.  And because my children's memories do not match the image I have of myself I negate them.

Our memories are selective and reflective of our own subjective experiences. Much like the dozen witnesses who all see something different at the scene of an event, what we hold to be true is merely our perspective. Forgiveness is the key to freedom. 

I forgive ______ for not being what I needed them to be to me at that time. 

Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.

Still letting go...

Namaste

Oh the things you will find...

...after you replace them, or
...while digging through closets...

I was searching for school supplies before we went out to shop. The only items I had on the list were yellow #2 pencils. But I found two containers of butter. I knew I had some, but since I couldn't find it, I bought more. What we have up there is avocado butter (about a third cup left), shea butter (easily more than a cup), cocoa butter, beeswax, and a small bottle of Crown Royal - saved for a special occasion. I'm not a fan, but it works well for a tincture or toddy.

Then I found...

This collection of herbs and resins. I looked all over for myrrh. Not pictured, but also discovered was a collection of meditation oils that include frankincense, myrrh, and sandalwood.  There are bags of lavender flowers, tobacco, cedar, sage, and catnip. And copal. I fired up the charcoal and breathed in the thick sweet fragrance from another world.

I tore open the package of lavender flowers and they smelled fresh picked. I think we had better quality in the old days. Certainly better prices.

There were boxes filled with glass bottles and jars. Some new; others recycled. Bottles with stoppers and bulb syringes. Half ounce to eight ounce. I used to make and market aromatherapy oils, balms, and sprays. And I love pretty glass:

Above is algae powder which I am going to add to tonight's bath, more lavender flowers and painted glass bottles with glass stoppers (perfume bottles).  It looks like time for another Craigslist post. Or maybe eBay. Either way, I'm ready to let these go.

We bought the remainder of DA's school supplies for less than $10 and I will donate the other items on the 15th (to higher grades). I still have a ton of items to give away. It was fun remembering my life and times past. That's why we save stuff - to trigger memories. Pictures, music, ticket stubs, jewelry or bottles. It is easier to let go of items that are free of sentiment, so start there.

Here's to creating space, and loving it!

Namaste

 

And the Wisdom to Know the Difference

That's where we get stuck - we forget to ask for wisdom.

This week I reconnected with a roommate from thirty-seven years ago. We met, again, last week in the grocery store and spend almost an hour talking. It was fun and exciting to share life with someone on (what I thought) was a similar path. As I write this, perhaps we still are - the path of living at the fringe. In case you don't know, the farther you get from the median, the more diverse the thinking and living. We are, in fact, marginalized by choice.

After a few emails, we agreed to meet for tea at a local garden. I always prefer meeting in nature and near water. The conversation seems to flow more easily. Water is a good place for letting go as well. We talked. The tea discussion went well. Then she broke out the soapbox and began proselytizing. I listened politely. She stepped down. Kids. Family. Medical profession. SOAPBOX!!! I interjected.

Turns out she believes that her religious beliefs are the only true expression of God and that while others are sincere, they are wrong. Where have I heard that before? That busted open a big ole can of worms. She was not to be dissuaded. It was exactly like being with my family thirty-seven years ago. It was me. Thirty-seven years ago. I have changed. I see differently.

Lying in bed, unable to sleep, I began the Serenity Prayer. Reaching the last line, I realized I had gotten engaged in something I cannot change. She will shift in her time, but between us, if I choose to meet again, I do so knowing that I accept her just as she is.

Usually, religion and politics are off the table for me. Better to hold that line. Blessings, love, and gratitude are excellent topics of discussion. Check out my recent finds on food and other stuff, here.

Namaste

I cannot tell a lie...

I am too busy to think most days. The baby (JP) is ten months old and crawls away faster than most people walk. She has learned to reach and pull and drag each an every precious item I have protected for years crashing down to the floor. That means when the girls come to visit, I am on my J O B! It is a constant challenge to engage both girls at the same time, or to settle one and play with the other. As they are both independent spirits, corralling is unappreciated.

I usually work on Wednesday and only shop for bread and yogurt. I was called off on both my commitments so I had time to search for the best bargains. I love to shop. LOVE IT!!! No matter how much I talk about living with less, I love to shop. So, I will talk about living with less money, rather than less stuff.

I bought the above pictured groceries for $36.00. Yes, there was a sale. That's how you get the best deals - shop the sales. Green Giant - buy four and pay $.99. I bought six.  Chex mix was part of that deal too. Tofu was on sale for $1.49/pound. That is an unbeatable price. We bake it and add to rice, salad, soup, or sandwiches. Eggs and cheese are staples. Oatmeal, as well. DA says she will eat pretzels with applesauce. It is hiding behind the tofu.

The point is to make the most of every dollar. Sort out what works for your household and invest the time in finding the bargain. I am blessed to have charge of my grand-daughters four or five days a week. They both eat enthusiastically. Thankfully, they enjoy a wide variety of foods.

On another note, I am quite pleased with DrVita.com. Supplements and health foods inexpensive and free shipping and handling - with no minimum. I ordered Spectrum Chia Seeds and Chocolove (dark chocolate and ginger) both for $8.50. If you're paying retail for specialty supplies, you need a break. Here it is.

My last confessions are stuff. I have a scarf fetish. I have lots. I love them all. For a while, all I could think about was having more. Then I found an inexpensive way to both buy and share scarves with others - ebay! Affordable items, free shipping and the delay of waiting with the anticipation of arrival - a shopper's dream.

Finally, I found Battlestar Galactica Season 2.0 for $1.25 on Amazon. Wow!

Just so you know. I have watched BSG 2004 - 2009 three times. I re-read my books, some of them yearly. I watch reruns. I love the stories, the nuances, the lessons.

We (DA, JP, and I) mix a cup of Greek yogurt with an ounce of chia seeds and follow the Kratz Brothers into the wild or Commander Adama as he searches for earth.

I save where I can so I can splurge as I desire...

Where did you find your latest deal?

If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.