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Monday, June 20, 2011

So Beautiful, I Am

I was blogging at work when a man passed and asked if I was working on a personal ad. And added that if I was, to include a current photo, a full body photo - to be honest. I responded that I am not looking for someone who would make a judgment about who I am based on what my photo looks like. The reality is that even a full body photo does not tell the story any better than a head shot.

Take a moment and look into my eyes. Did I smile for this picture or is it cropped from another event. Can you see that I am happy, in general, or have I held a happy thought that my smile might shine more genuinely? Am I looking at you, the camera, or off into the distance? Was this a photo for the one who would choose me, or the best me I had to put forth?

This young fellow (just turned 30) dates a lot. Says he dates a lot. Changes girlfriends, often. And is quite preoccupied with how the physical body looks. I stood thinking of him today. I am considering posting that personal ad. I am not concerned with the full body shot as I know that no photo can describe how it feels to live in this body day by day. I want to share with him that picking a body to date is not like picking a being to share love with. Even with the best of care, our bodies change. Some changes we can pretend to control. Others happen even as we are doing all we know to keep them strong and healthy.

I would look past the feeble minded and bodied for one that is strong and healthy, but I also understand that the strong can and do become weak. I understand it, because I have lived it. I ran, biked and taught aerobics five days a weeks, three to four classes a day. One day I couldn't complete the bike ride home. I walked that last three miles and haven't been able to distance ride since. Yes, I can move. I workout. i play with my grand-daughter. but as a fifty plus, not thirty-five.  I am more conscious of my abilities and continue to build and maintain strength without criticism of the body that supports me 24/7.  I maintain a healthy idea of effort and choose ease as needed.

I honor my beauty as a whole being. I witness my tenacity daily. I welcome another chance to let go. I let go of the judgement, comparison, and expectation that would bind me in stress and turmoil. I reckon a happiness that comes with being with what is.

We are each of us beautiful. We must establish the standards within ourselves, and live in our worth. Selling ourselves short only leaves us wanting in the end.

Here's my head shot. The rest of me is just as good!

Om Shanti Om (MF!)

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