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Saturday, December 25, 2010

Holiday Tears of Joy

When every situation which life can offer is turned to the profit of spiritual growth, no situation can really be a bad one.
Paul Brunton
This is my first year without my family at the holidays - all of them.  My Eldest moved to the West Coast and the others have occupied their time differently.  Even in this time of joy and happiness, I have a deep sadness with her absence.  I expected to be off work on the 24th so that I would be home and able to sleep the night in preparation for the 25th and our family time. I found out Monday night that the request was denied. Not only was I going to be working the overnight shift, but also would not have the much needed rest I had been planning.  I spent the next days a mess of angst and distress, and immense sadness.
As time passed, I decreased the complaining until as I was getting ready for work I found acceptance.  Standing before the mirror, my right mind weighed in.  “If I am in the right place at the right time, I had best show up and honor the blessing and the lesson.”  My last glance at Facebook found so many of my single “friends” at home, alone, drinking and waking, and drinking some more. 
Drinking to hide from feelings is not my issue, but being at home alone would certainly have kept me bawling for the night, until I was one swollen mass of ache – headache, sinuses, back and tummy.  I doubt I would have even been able to call any of my sweeties to send them my love.
I hauled myself into work and though tears fall like rain, I did call my daughter and shared both my sadness of her absence and my joy that she is living her life so beautifully. My other children, well, I did check in and we will gather in the afternoon after I have had some to rest.
I affirm that all that I need is flowing toward me. 
I am enough. There is enough. I have enough.
I am blessed in re-membering that which I know to be true.  And so it is.
\ Namaste  \

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