I am so busy.
I am doing it all.
I work three jobs. One I love. I get to think, create, investigate, research, look for openings and options and reach for the greatest possibilities.
The other is the call center situation. It teaches me to let go, to remember that "it's not personal," and every now and then to connect with incredibly interesting people, both on the phone and in the next cubical.
Then there's the third. It is a direct care position providing support of people with diagnoses on the developmental disability scale. This is work I appreciate and do well. It can be challenging and rewarding. The staff and administration, well that's something else. I have a long list but we are going to stick with the present (or recent past).
After a full day I raced across town in 5 pm traffic to make a 5:30 meeting. When I park there is a man at the door waving me to go faster. I am already exhausted. I forgot about eating and only had a granola bar with water since the morning. I was hoping they were providing dinner. I get to the door and he says, "I just wanted you to hurry. They are ready to start."
Out comes the director and says we can not attend. We are late. There are three of us standing there. I explain that I was delayed due to traffic and that there was no notice or indication that we would be denied access on the post for the meeting. She explained that people had shown up 15 - 20 minutes late (for the previous meetings) and if she made one exception she would have to make another. I pulled out my phone and after all our carrying on it was 5:32 pm.
"I'm sorry. Those are the rules."
When I am hungry and tired, and feeling put out, "Bitch" will not quite cover my reaction. I know I said, "Fine!" because that's my trade for "Fuck!" Lots of stomping and carrying on to my car, I pull out to drive away. I stopped and talked to another staff who had been turned away and she said she arrived at 5:29 and was told to leave. The third person was walking back home. After this week, I understand why they have so few staff and low commitment.
On the other hand, Tuesday evening is my only night at home. And where am I? At home!!! I ran to get yogurt and half and half (and more stuff, remember, I was shopping tired, hungry and angry). I stopped by the library and picked up two books on hold. And I decided my nom de plume for my novel. And look...I posted.
These books get great raves and I can't wait to read them. I have a few tasks to complete then a long soak with a cup of tea and a good book. Even when we don't know it, things are working out as needed and we are blessed.