Resale Before Retail

Six years ago, I renewed my commitment to more conscious consumption.  I have gotten into the habit of shopping for entertainment. And because I was working overnights, found that I could occupy many hours buying crap I really didn't need, and sadly, didn't like once it arrived. When I decided to quit that job, I knew I have to curb my luxury spending. It was a nauseating experience. Buying the basics did not fill the same desires as shopping for "stuff." Not like I needed more "stuff". It was the shopping process.

Now six years later, I have more supplies for all the projects I could never have imagined back then. After a couple more shifts in my work situations I have scoped out how to get the best deals - way more value for the money I spend, in any category I desire.

 I picked up two bottles of Wen Cleansing Conditioner at Sal Army Store for $1.50 each. Having seen the commercials, I knew this was suppose to be the good stuff. Now, I gave up shampooing my hair more than ten years ago, so the concept of washing with a conditioner was easy. To top that, I read the directions. The portion to use is divided in half - first to wash, then the rest as a leave-in conditioner. Once home, I diluted two ounces of product to six ounces of water for my leave-in. I added a tablespoon to 12 ounces of water for my spray in.

I love the results of this product. My hair is soft and curly. Wen retails for over $32.

The Corning Saucemaker and the warmer were collected from the neighborhood thrift store. Collected a separate visits, I bought the one quart saucemaker for fifty cent and the warmer for $1. I couldn't leave it behind. It works great as a microwave rice cooker and most recently, I found I can cook red lentil curry in it on that warmer, which way beyond warms, apparently. It is Salton Jumbo Hot Spot - Sold as casserole set with dish for $47.  The Corning is listed as vintage and listed $13 to $40. Worth it to wander around and look locally.

I have enough yarn deals to post repeatedly, but this was a find from East Bay Center for Creative Reuse. I bought yarn. I love to buy yarn. I have plenty of yarn. Buying yarn is pleasure.  I longed for this yarn, but resisted paying retail. I found it on vacation in California for one-fourth the price of retail. I worked it up into this head/neck wrap and donated it to Flood the Streets with Art V in my community. It is a wool/acrylic blend, soft and beautiful. I hope the person that has it, loves it as much as enjoyed both finding and buying the yarn and knitting the project.

(Flood the Streets with Art is a project by Scott Wong to specifically battle the monster known as Black Friday.)


Before I shop at retails stores or online, I check my local resale shops for the items I want or need. I have bought a few duds, but I am so far ahead in savings that I let go of what didn't work. Personally, I do not recommend the reduced price in favor of cleaning it up. I bought a shelving unit around the corner, spent four plus hours washing and scrubbing. It still was not clean enough. Later I went to the store and bought a new unit for $4 more. I found a use for my less than stellar purchase and it works great.

Remember to let go of what no longer serves you, even the really cool stuff. That's how thrift stores have great deals to pass on.

#Happy Everyday!

I traveled across the country, to my favorite place and my heart - San Francisco! I made the pilgrimage over Golden Gate Bridge. Cross that off. Having fully renewed my fear of heights, I have no need to repeat the journey. Now when I feel unwell, I describe the symptoms as the sensation of walking across the bridge. Notice, I am hovering near the street/traffic edge; felt safer.

Before I completed my time at my last work situation, I applied for two jobs. One that pays well and another under the category,  "Would you be here if you were not getting paid?" Yes! As of this date, neither have called. I applied for two more jobs. One that will meet my basic needs. The other my desired schedule and maybe more money. Maybe. One contact to which I was not able to respond - system down.

To be clear, I love being at home. I leave to earn the funds so I can return home. Working offers the advantage of ease in meeting my financial obligations. I like ease. If I want effort, I can workout. So, as I step up my search for my next right and perfect work situation, I am thankful for each morning I wake when I choose, and every night I have relaxedly enjoyed before crawling into my comfy bed to rest. I celebrate each waking, Happy Everyday!

My days are filled with grandchildren, art and knitting. I am learning more about my attention and patience. I explore my creativity, stretching beyond my comfort zone. In my success of creating for others, I learned that it is unpleasant. I thought that time and talent was sufficient to complete the project. I found myself greatly distressed during the process - will they want this, like this, even care how much time and effort this required? Rather than sharing my joy, I offered my angst. My preference is to create and share, but not to order.

Presently, I am knitting a sweater for my son - XXL Tall. It was so exciting before I cast on. Now each row seems a chore. I put it aside when my enthusiasm wanes, pick up the mittens. This is a labor of love, much like birthing. (I took a break during my 52 hour labor.) I still have a month to complete the project, even at my slow pace and I am positive he will love it. 

As the year winds close, I am thoughtful of the choices I have made to have arrived at this moment. I thought I would manage to hang out at that last job until March 2018. One day, as I was driving for work, I realized there was no way I wanted to keep doing what I was doing. I was a mass of conflict. I had used my savings to pay off an old loan so I could open a new one. Not a fan of debt, I mapped a plan to save for my departure. The pay was low, but the benefits good. Leaving was more than the paycheck. Staying was draining my attention and energy, on and off the job. My co-workers were apathetic, though probably due to working multiple jobs along with family obligations. None seemed committed to being happy. Well, what the huh?

We  have relegated happiness to birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries. We congratulate births and partings (retirement). Yet, in between, we neglect happiness. When we find happiness we either grasp the moment to save and store in memory to pull out savor and lament, or dismiss and return to the grind before. Happiness to available moment to moment. A gentle awareness of each breath in the present moment allow us to exclaim, Happy Everyday!

Travel. Write. Drink beer.

Six years ago, I started this blog. My job situation no longer served me. There was no draw to stay and I began the search for how to let go. Finding other fifty plus year olds who were willing to leave what they considered stability and security to wander the unknown was challenging. Lots of young people out exploring the world, making do with what is or comes, and willing
to take risks. It would seem that the wisdom of age would support going forth.

11.11.11, that's the day I walked away. Took a flight west for two weeks. Worked on my novel - NaMoWriMo. Watched ALL of Fraiser. Drank beer. I saw the city - San Fran and the Bay Area. I visited family and friends. I had a spa day and time at the beach. I had saved six months salary to commit to this process, to figure something out.

My plan was thwarted by the demands (then requests) from my family of origin to return "home" to tend the sick and dying. The question of my agreement is another post. I went and spend the next six months traveling between my home and theirs, sometimes daily. Maybe I wasn't specific enough about the travel plan. I drained my savings, sold any valuables worth a hundred or more, lived more simply. I made do.

Then I got a call from an old work mate asking me to come to work for her company. And so began the ridiculous saga that finally ends this weekend. My new freedom date becomes 11.06.17. I wanted to leave sooner. I planned to move on. I shifted based on money. Then something happened and I knew I would not stay longer than the resignation requirement.

This time I have no six months living expenses in savings. No particular plan or even idea of what's next. I am open. I am attentive. In the meantime, I am off again, heading west. Instead of writing, I knit and have a daily photo plan. Still planning to drink beer.

I'm living life, around the curve.

This year - 2016

This year, I learned to ferment, more. I've been making sauerkraut for years. The sweet amber here is jun tea. Amazing! Made with honey, green tea, a scoby and time. Perfected by personal preference and imagination. For months it was a weekly routine. Then not.

 I got in my mind that I wanted to make hard cider. I read the directions, sort of. I set off with a plan (apparently not the directions) and created seriously hard, dry, hooch. That was something - rough. The knitting in the photo is supposed to be The Traveler's Shawl. Also didn't follow the directions. It's in a bag, waiting.

 This is my water kefir carrying on. I think that is hooch in the liquor bottle, but I used water kefir over my fresh pineapple to both preserve and create a sparkly fruit. Taste amazing! I am all about the taste (though I will eat stuff that taste like yuck cause it is good for me).

Later this year I learned to make tepache. Pineapple rind, sugar, water, and time. You've got it - amazing. I'm enjoying a bottle from 10.31.16  as I type.

 I started doodling at the beginning of the year, and until late summer kept up the practice of a daily doodle. I used index cards to reduce the anxiety of filling a page or abandoning the process. Some days I created several cards. It was fun to explore a new side of my creativity. That ended too. It seems so hard, all over again. I work at corners, then not.

I created art with my granddaughter every day. This piece is created with crayons and a heat gun. Let me say, "Heat guns are fun." We made beads from plastic bags, melted strips of plastic to make book marks, and kept busy on the search for ways to heat things up.

 I knit short socks for me. I love the heel construction and the yarn worked up nicely for color. The fit is questionable. I admire the sock knitters and hope one day to be counted among them.

I took the girls hiking and climbing often. They enjoy the outdoors and my community has committed to accessible green space. This park allows for easy travel up and down the boulders, but we also visited the climbing park where more effort and care is required.

 More art. My home is storage to paper, paints, scissors, glue, tape, bit and pieces and puzzles. We don't have company, inside. We are living in art world. Recently, we purchase a one inch hole punch. Creating never ends. We make art every day.

 I knit, every day.
The yarn in the blue shawl was a find at the local thrift store. I bought home an unfinished project and the matching yarn. I frogged (unraveled) the work and wound it into cakes. It remains one of my most beautiful creations from a find. It was gifted to a special friend.

Late spring, I decided I would knit shawls. Another opportunity to step up. While I select a pattern for its design, I tend to abandon the directions. This commitment was to follow though from cast on to bind off. Some projects became less interesting as I knit along. Cowls are quick and easy, especially in bulky yarns.

This one is a weekend project.






Kim chi and eggs for breakfast. Protein and probiotics. And coffee.
My goal was to have three month old kim chi. We were eating it as fast as I made it. Today, December 30, 2016, I have kim chi from September. My expectation were high. Shifting...

This year I started working out. Went at it hard for twelve weeks, five days a week. Then not. I'm like that.
I cleared out things I no longer use. Made space. Filled it up.
I gardened. We spent a lot of money to grow REALLY expensive produce. We need yet another new plan.
I saved a lot of money. I bought a roof. Boom! That shifted my financial situation. I go out and look at my money - working. I have a new roof.
I changed positions at my job. I had just decided that I would stay when the whole situation shifted. I've decided to focus on how this works for me and to live in that thought. It works for me.
I made my yearly pilgrimage to San Francisco. I journeyed to Oakland to visit my friend. I drank coffee at Jump N Java. I marched in solidarity with The Water Protectors.
I experience floating at the new float spa. I'm saving my opinion until I've returned for my next float.
I found a new massage spa, that I like. It is very affordable.
I gave of my time, talent, and treasures. And in line with the promise, I am prosperous.
My life is good.

Live by intention.

Foggy Perceptions

Here we are blanketed in fog. Low temps for May in the Midwest. Waking up to the forties puts a damper of thoughts of gardening and playing outside. I stood on the porch and listened to the dripping leaves. It is wet. First thought I want to fret about the plants which desperately need sunlight and warmth. There is nothing I can do about the weather. Next.

Coffee and pen

Last week I began the practice of mindful doodling. Initially it was really challenging. As I learned to slow down on focus on the movement of the pen, I let go of my expectations. There are no mistakes but an opportunity to shift the design. Doodling at the start of the day opens my perception and expands my horizon.

While I loved fermenting - yogurt and sauerkraut - last year I discovered natural sodas fermented with a ginger bug. Once I got it going we had fermented beverages daily. I mixed the bug with teas and juice for a second ferment. As it started to require more attention (constant kahm) I drained the solids and added the bug to whiskey. Talk about tasty. Last month I decided to try water keir.

Making water kefir requires water kefir grains. In the store they cost $16.99. Before I buy anything, I ask first. (That was the initial title of this post - Ask First.) I have very few "friends" on Facebook and even fewer connections in real life. However, I am connected with someone who is connected to hundreds of others. That means I am too.

I met the fellow who offered to share some of his water kefir grains with me at the local urban gardening center. I arrived in time to have dinner at the member potluck. I am a member but received no notice of the gathering. I am rarely social beyond my online connections and this was a fabulous opportunity to connect with others who garden, ferment, and live closer to the earth. Besides the water kefir grains (I offered a hat I knitted in exchange), I learned the gardening center delivered compost to gardens. Boom! I thought.

Their price was cost prohibited ($50), but the place where they get compost is very inexpensive. My son and I loaded his car with 10 trash bags of compost for $12.80.  It sells for about $4 for 2 cu ft in three stores in town. BOOM!

It is worth the savings to ask first. Check with connections on any and all social media. Connect with local free-cycle groups. Craigslist has a free section. Neighbors - they can help. Thrift stores, local interest groups, friends, and family. Whatever you need, it is probable that someone wants to share. Allow others to be a blessing to you.

That brings up to art. The three year old and I wandered over to the big thrift store. Last week we picked up a popcorn tin filled with crayons, pencils, markers, and color pencils - for free. It made a great sorting activity. Yesterday we made this creation.

Holding  the heat gun, JP proclaimed, "This is amazing!" Yes, it is. Not only melted crayons, but the time, space and attention to make it happen.

I'm here, living blessed.

Doddle away...

Good Morning, Beautiful

Spring rains perk up the garden. With the rise in temps, the tulips are fading - especially the dark purples. The irises are early bloomers in my garden and the peony has set buds. I stay up way too late these days knitting and arting. They both occupy my dreams.

The clematis are in full bloom and every year I wish I had a color other than white. This year I bought a boysenberry plant and a golden raspberry. I'd rather have food. It supports our habit of eating.

This is the piece that keep my attention last night. The hardest part is walking away without wondering. I love it as it is, yet wouldn't some gold, sparkle, layers, lettering, etc, make it pop? Do I want pop?

I hold my ideas in check. I would buy stationary with this design. It becomes part of the Take Flight Series.

I finished the Age of Brass and Steam Kerchief with modifications. It was an easy knit with yarn I found for a song at the local thrift store. I am committed to knitting a shawl a month. This is my second for April.


We are learning different painting techniques. This is finger painting and a prompt from Creativity Reignited art class. When I remember art is about feeling, I am free from the criticism of comparison.

I follow both knitting and art posts. It is important to appreciate and learn, rather than attempt to emulate.



I opened this post early in the day and now another hour has passed. My days are occupied with a three year old. Running and dressing, dancing and celebrating. Ta-da! occurs more often than one can imagine.

Life is good.
All the time.

All the time;
Lie is good.

Predicting the Future

During the interview, they ask me, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" Or some variation on that theme. The last time I answered, I covered the rest of my life. There comes a moment when we have to get clear on why we are here and what we are going to do about it. By now, I call the years previous to now, former lives as they are that distinct and varying from each other.

How do I see myself in five years? Happier than I am today. I came to this answer during my shift from doing what I loved every day. I was taking a job specifically for the benefits - health insurance. That decision worked on me - physically and emotionally. Once those two went, I was mental. I stayed. I made a commitment. I got sick. I was sad. Crying at my desk, I knew it was time to leave. This became my next indicator of when to let go.

Many jobs later, happily moving along (because I am on the path of happiness), I learned to stay and chart a leaving course. That was the birth of this blog. Today I stay at my job because it serves me. It allows me to do what I love - knit, crochet, read, art, and spend time with my grand-daughters. This is happiness.

I do what brings me joy, daily. Predicting the future is easy. Focus on happiness. Stay on that path and sing its praises.

Motherwort Dreams and Art Journal

Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it. Salvador Dali

Take Flight

 I woke this morning from a dream journey. Years of chronic insomnia have offered a myriad solutions, most with crap results. While I wait for my homemade sleep/relax concoction to extract - still five weeks to go - I bought motherwort herb. This is new to me and I began sipping tea yesterday. I knitted through the evening leaving my tea to steep in another room. So ended the night (meaning after midnight) with my tea at the bedside. I completed my routine and the last I remember it was 1:16 AM.

I dreamt another world. Here I was the original and many clones which wore out and disintegrated. Then another plucked off. Much of the dream has faded, but I remember sitting a the table asking (or realizing) I was the original.

I have opened a new process - art journaling. I watch videos about finishing in one sitting, like a page a day. That hasn't happened for me; however, this morning I decided to let go of the journal cover. The photo doesn't do it justice. From a distance, even I am impressed.

Multi-media page

Still holding to this page. It's all about the process and that I am enjoying. All acts of love and pleasure...

Add some glitter to your day.

Putting Winter to Bed

The cold was short and unpredictable.  Still is. Eighty degrees on day and 36 the next night. All the calendar celebrations around the world will not control the weather. What are you going to do?

Knit, create art, and ferment.

Collage pages for art journals.

The girls work on craft projects.

First set of pages finished.

Splatter painting. Stage one of something.

No Purls Allowed Shawl - Ravelry

No Purls Allowed - Ravelry

Ribbed Cowl - occupying time

That's good for a couple thousand words.

I'm still pulling my 40 hours on the weekend gig, and have begun to rethink the decision. Re-think. I just remembered I have a plan to hang in here until school is out. That means June. Whew! Some days...

The work is fine. It's my constant need to adjust my attitude that is the problem. That's always the problem. I spend 34 of the 40 hours each weekend working on letting go and finding a way to not give a f---. So, God grant me the serenity and all.

No pictures of the ferments, but I have been constant in my management of my ginger bug. Friday Ferments include a couple quarts of sauerkraut and a second ferment of juice or tea with ginger bug. My next adventure is water kefir. Several people in town have water kefir grains, but seem to have abandoned them in the back of their fridge. My home is still too cool to care for the grains so I reckon when I am ready I will find some, locally.

Let's talk about money for a minute. I am still all about saving; however, I have recently (in the last year) incurred two large debts. I am thankful I had the resources to cover the need, but in surrendering my funds, I reconsidered how I have done without (though only in the most luxurious ways). I decided that if I have the money to support others, I have the money to enjoy my life as I choose. Today that means yarn. Nice yarn. Wool, soy silk, and their blends. While I have quite the storage bins/chest/trunk full, one can never have too much - yarn.

Here's to saving where you can and splurging when you want.

M 

Give Out!

That's a knit and crochet donation from the fall. Knitting is my new passion. I learned to knit in May this year and pick my needles up daily to create beauty and ease my mind.

I've been working this 40 hour weekend gig and keeping my grand-daughters Monday - Thursday. It is busy. Busier than I ever wanted to be. I take frequent down moments, but as much as I want to claim I let go, the truth is I hold on tight.

Over the past two months I have been so intense, uptight, and bent out of shape that my back gave out. I thought I was working on it. By the time the pain started I was steeped in the pissoffedness of the situation(s). Finally, Friday, I could not get out of bed.

A visit to the chiropractor granted we the weekend off and bed rest with ice. I can't remember the last time I had so much time to myself for myself. Thank you G!d.

I'm going back next weekend. I was working on a new attitude. It is even more important now. This is all about me. The following weekend I will be on vacation. We have great movement plans - lots of walking in the city. Urban cardio...

As I lay on my pilates table, I realized my pelvis has tightened into a forward tilt, effectively spilling my energy out. My focus will be to bring my mind, body, and spirit back into balance. To set the bowl upright again. I have over shared. I am give out. These days at home are time for me to reassess my choices of how and when I give.

Here are some of the pretties I knit since May -

Haggard Moments

Generally, I am all about peaceful moments, especially in the morning. I move slowly. Drink my coffee and find a place to rest outside. I am surrounded by the lush greens and bright flowers. It is still wet and rainy even as the summer heats up. The depth of green protects the lilies that would have faded by now.

Then this morning comes. I'm going to take a moment to complain about the insanity of it all. Of course it all works out in the end, but we are not there yet. So, here is the report from along the journey...

I have this job...

And I have these commitments to being and showing up in loving, supportive ways for others...

And then, there's me.

I work forty hours on the weekend. The work's fine. Lots of ease. Little effort. There would be less effort if I didn't get pissed off about the things I cannot change. That's my personal challenge. As I type, I realize I have stepped away from my initial angst that had me writing my resignation - in a text message. (Yes, I would do that, and break up on a post it note.)  I have no reason to resign. It was just a feeling, and feelings change.

Well, how about that. Things have shifted. I feel better and now, I have tasks to do. There is still this job. I still have way more obligations than make sense, but I will untangle this ball of yarn and knit something better.

My new and good for this report - I learned to knit in May. Now I knit and crochet, daily. That's how I am keeping it together.

How about you?

Lenten Reflections 2015

These are the April flowers of my world. My tulips will all open within the next week then begin their fade. It is imperative that I stay in this moment if I have any hope of enjoyment or pleasure from their appearance. And I do.

Thankfully, there are directed moments in my life so that I rise early, leave the house, and make a slow traverse on return. I have built-in time to "smell the roses."

Over these last forty odd days, I have reviewed my obsessions, quirks and whims. They are many. Sometimes I was overwhelmed at just how out of sorts some areas of my life have become. Forget the pretense of having it all together. It is just shoved into piles as I kick a path through my day.

This year, for the Lenten Season, I committed to letting go of my indulgence around purchasing yarn and alcohol - liquor specifically. The issue was not doing without, but rather, delaying the purchase of more. For even as I can display the vast enoughness of plenty, I have a deep abiding urge to get more, more, more.

I faced and addressed my feelings as I completed a crochet project from my adequate yarn stash. What longing lies beneath the need for more yarn? Same issue as I poured a shot of whiskey. In my angst, I will delay drinking the last corner, waiting until the bottle can be replaced. I want more. The truth is, always has been, I have enough.

Owning the enoughness of life challenges the need for more. There was enough yarn to complete the project. I have enough whiskey for this drink. And the biggest unmentioned issue, I earn enough money to give, save, and pay my bills. What more can I ask for? While you may ask for more, I am happy, content, and joyful with enough.

All around my space, I have posted reminders to embrace enough. This Lenten Season honed my focus, not just on enough, but on the areas where I have obsessively gathered too much. Not only must I let go of grasping for more, but also release my grasp of what I have.

Spring urges the energy from the bulbs for leaves and flowers. Holding on means stagnation, rotting, and death. I am inspired by giving and letting go knowing that I am part of the reciprocity cycle. The more you give, the more is given to you.

Blessed be!

Imagine. Visualize. Verbalize.

Today is the first day...

I've been dreaming of a new laptop for so long. Not just dreaming, pining, aching, longing. There are lots of things I think I just have to have. I am slow to purchase. I have so much. But the laptop fever seemed to have taken hold tightly. It was shaking me up.

I work the weekends, offering me hour upon hour to search for specs and deals. Believe it or not, last weekend I found a 15 inch Acer Aspire with 320 GB HD, 2 GB DDR3 L Memory and Intel Celeron Processor for under $200 - no tax or shipping and handling.

Oh, I fretted. Wow! and double WOW! What to do... I searched, researched, read reviews, looked for issues, delayed and considered, then I bought it. Yep.

One week later, I am typing this post, at work, on my new laptop. 

In my head, I think this will open up more online earning opportunities. I have the time and in the past have earned nicely doing surveys and focus groups.In reality I can watch movies on my laptop and use my tablet to read crochet patterns. I live to tie knots.

Whatever you believe, your desires become your reality. For what are beliefs but thoughts you continue to think.

Please check out my Lenten Reflection Blog. I am posting from The Book of Blessings. This week focuses on compassion and kindness.

If we desire something different, we must tell a new story. (Abraham Hicks)

Reclaiming Time

We are all moving through life one step at a time. Some days we leap and run up the stairs; others are a challenging and grueling event. We deserve an award for even considering the effort.

Today, I would rather sleep. Just hunker under the covers and wait for the moment I am absolutely required to leave my peace and quiet. I've done it. Stayed in bed and waited. It was good; until, it wasn't.

The girls arrive and then no matter how I feel, I have to get a move on. I mean, "Bust a move!"

I was using that time in bed to reclaim my life, my energy, some bits that I lose by working 40 hours in a row. However, I was losing my Monday. That means that instead of having five days of my own, I donated another 16 hours to the making of my money.

This morning, hard as it was, I got up just past 9 AM. That still gave me nine hours in bed. It took until 11 AM to get out the door for the days errands. And two hours later as I sit warming my lunch, I am exhausted. I could easily crawl back into my bed. But no. In less than an hour, the first little one will arrive and I must be ON. Her movement requires nothing less. No half stepping.

For today, I reclaimed from my bed five hours I had thought to donate. Perhaps tonight I will get to sleep earlier. Perhaps, but not likely. The day is unwritten.

On a deeper note - I will be posting to Lenten Reflections 2015. While out I found a book I will use for direction and reflection. More later, there.

Bright blessings!