The clutter is kicking my ass. I say this because as I focus on the fifty items out of the house each day, I see how very much there is and how very little of it I need or use. I find my moments between sleep focused on what can go next, or, on how I have spend so very much money during this time of stepping away from my shopping behaviors.
This weekend I reviewed my checking account after setting up some automatic payments. I was shocked, surprised, overwhelmed, and nearly defeated by the record of my behavior this month. Apparently, I gave up my need to look at what and how I was spending. So, I went back to my journal. Stop! Even in that exclamation, I could feel how much I needed to go to the store. Stop! But, there’s just one more thing I need to pick up. Stop! This is the best time to go shopping. Stop. Think.
I have taken more time to think and feel, picking up my journal to converse with the nagging draw to leave the house and go out amongst more stuff, and bring it home. I am still waiting on some insight. I’m sure it will come as I continue to withdraw from the behavior and sit with my thoughts and feelings. Until then, I am steady on the progress outward.
For those of us who gather lots of stuff around us (that show has just made the word useless), and feel the need to be surrounded by said stuff, there are varied issues to face. As I love myself deeply, I am taking a loving approach to releasing what no longer serves me. In this relaxed state I have found easier ways to let go than I have known before.
Does this thing bring me joy? How does it bring me joy? Is my life enhanced by its presence in my space?
What memory does this elicit? Can I hold the memory without this item? Is this a memory I even treasure, or is it merely a historical event? Can I give it away and share the memory?
Why am I keeping this anyway? How is this serving my life? What’s the likelihood I will be using this to learn, grow, or be happy in the future, ever?
How many years has this been sitting here? Have I even noticed it before today, while I am looking to pass it along?
Those are a few of the questions that help me pack the stuff out the door. Today, I am packing up my Harry Potter collection. I really enjoyed the books and sharing them with my family and friends. I have read and re-read them, but that’s enough. I have hundreds more books in the house to ready and fifty-four on my kindle. I think I will be good on reading material. Another consideration, for me, it that these are not reference books. They were entertainment and I was amused. Now someone else can be as well.
I have lots of food snacks that have been cluttering my kitchen. I will be passing them along to people who actually might enjoy eating them. Some items were gifts, others left over from a party. Others were less enjoyable than expected. I may as well share.
It is becoming a rather delightful process, seeing what I can take out next. Today there is still so much, I l know I am treading lightly. There are times I can feel some attachment, but that’s a topic for another blog. Letting go is freedom from attachment; freedom from attachment to the source of our happiness.
Happy spring clearing. May the winds of change be smooth and gentle.