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Tuesday, September 11, 2012

No Kiss Dating...

Or, why I am single.

No matter how I look at my current unattached situation, it's as clear as crystal on a sunny day. My romantic calendar remains open. There are reasons...
  • I love being with myself.
  • I love my stuff, exactly where it is - all the time.
  • I am freakishly controlling. I row my boat and am clear I can roll your boat better than you can.
  • I have three children, two grandchildren, friends, two jobs, nine blogs, a book to edit, one to write, chores I diss, home repairs to get at, movies to watch, and the first reason.
  • I am kind of particular about a few things - food, money, household items - toothpaste, toilet paper, cloth napkins. I prefer natural essences (rather than commercial), the lights off and space heat rather than central. 
If I meet the "right person" I might adjust, but later I would be pissed off and resentful. The list of things I can't stand and would not tolerate grow daily. As I get older, there's less shit I am willing to put up with.

This is my current list of bits I can't stand. It only applies to romantic connections, rather than dating or friends. However, while I might actually date someone with these elements, it would end there.
  • People who leave the car running in park.
  • Soda (or alcohol) as daily fluid intake versus water.
  • No clue about prices - food, gas, housing
  • Unwilling to walk for 30 minutes at a stretch
  • Doesn't care for being out of doors - parks, trails, farms
  • Requires artificial environmental controls - heating/AC
  • Wasteful or non-recycling
  • Drinks minimal plain water
  • Teatottlers
  • Non-reader/writers
  • Poor at electronic communication - text and email etiquette
  • Early over-disclosing/TMI
  • Smokers
  • Closed minded/Tunnel vision
The first list was formed after being in relationship with people who have embodied all elements of the second list. The second list are things one could observe easily or on the first date/meeting. Of course, there are deeper issues to explore, but relationships fail because of the nit picking, pet peeves, and needling annoyances that occur daily.

Relationships are hard work and deciding to spend our lives with another person takes deep commitment. Today I am clear about who I am and what I am willing to endure. There is no point in pretending I can put up with things that bother me just to indulge my passions/obsessions. Which is why I will not date someone I can't kiss.

Been there. Done that. There are plenty of reason to avoid swapping slobber. I accept them, but not in relationship.

Live authentically!

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